Friday, December 5, 2014

You Think Darkness is Your Ally

My Chanukiyah (Chanukah menorah) is quite possibly the bane of my existence. Additionally, the holiday of Shavuot is my nemesis holiday, but that’s for a future post. Now, I don’t know if all religiously observant people, regardless of the faith, have religious items that are out to cause their demise (or holidays that have become their mortal enemy for that matter) or if it’s just me, but this year will be the last year I use this Chanukiyah. You win menorah. You win.

Please observe.

Now, what looks like a completely innocent, typical Chanukiyah sitting quietly on my shelf, is actually taunting me on a daily basis. It reminds me that in 11 days or so, I will have to light it. This is an issue because I have been unable to find candles to fit it.  Every year, I search every local store (I mean EVERY store) trying to find candles that will fit in this Chanukiyah. And every year I have failed.

In my quest to find candles that fit I have been the recipient of: inappropriate jokes, some good-natured teasing, confused looks, many questions, anti-Semitism, overzealous individuals who are thrilled at the prospect of helping a Jew (seriously- this part always involves a lot of touching from complete strangers) and the butt of one wild goose chase resulting in me getting laughed out of a store. That last one was my bad though. A cashier at a large chain store assured me that if I went to the local Christian Book store and asked them for candles they should have them. She promised me they always have a Chanukah section. They did not. I really should have seen that one coming. Sigh.

So every year, after exhausting every option, I wind up buying 6 boxes of Manischewitz Shabbat candles and whittling down 45 of them to fit inside the cups on the Chanukiyah. It’s exhausting, sometimes bloody, and just feeds the animosity between me and this menorah.  Not this year though. I found candles that almost fit. Almost. They are going to lean a little, so I’m going to have to pay attention that I don’t catch my apartment on fire. They are also all different colors and I’m not 100% sure they are going to go out when I blow on them, but the point is, they almost fit.

And so this will be the last year I use this menorah. Mostly because the store where I found the candles that almost fit went out of business but also because I’m ready to throw in the towel. I have doggedly hung on, because, well…it was my first one. I bought it with my mother for my first Chanukah. It’s special. Not special enough to keep putting up with this bull crap every year though. So, it will get moved to a high shelf where it can watch my new Chanukiyah (that I haven’t found yet) do what it’s supposed to do. A Chanukiyah I have a much better working relationship with that doesn’t involve cut fingers, wax shavings and being the butt of jokes. Take that, soon-to-be-old-Chanukiyah. Take that.

Post Script
No Chanukiyahs were harmed in the writing of this post. But don’t think I didn’t think about it.

3 comments:

  1. I may be wrong but isn't it true that you use un burnt or new candles every night for the menorah? Minus the fact that they may burn to far to reuse, is there a symbolic or religious reason behind it?

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    Replies
    1. Hi Allison, that is a great question, thank you for asking! You are correct that we use new candles each night and are again correct as to why we use new one. Simply it's because they have to be lit for at least 30 mins (and hour and half on shabbat) before they can be blown out. Usually they are left to burn longer and as such have to be replaced with a fresh candle that will burn for the above mentioned 30 minutes. So while it's more of a practical reason we replace the candles there are a lot of symbolic and religious traditions surrounding the candles. For example, traditionally the lights of the menorah should come from candles or oil, and are always lit from left to right. I hope this answered your question!

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