Uncle Shmuley Wants You!

Knock knock knock

Answering the door, you are greeted by two individuals wearing yarmulkas, a Star of David and holding a Bible.

“Hello,” they say, “ Can we tell you about the Old Testament?”

If this has ever happened to you please stop reading this blog right now, and immediately contact your local Rabbi; they’ll tell you they weren’t Jewish. In fact, I’ll kiss your big left toe if there are members of the tribe coming door to door to convert you to Judaism.  We don’t, to put it simply, roll like that.

Judaism is not a proselytizing religion. In fact, most people aren’t aware one can even convert to Judaism. There are no Bema calls during prayer services asking non- Jews to accept HaShem into their hearts. We don’t leave pamphlets on windshields and I’ve never seen a Jew witnessing to a gentile about how giving up bacon changed their life; at least not in a good way. We refrain from actively seeking converts because, stay with me, ….you don’t have to be Jewish.  You’re ok in the faith you're in. We don’t care. In fact, traditionally, a potential convert is turned away three times by the Rabbi before they are accepted for conversion.  Actually turned away. Just let that sink in for a moment.

(chirping crickets)

Now this is not to say we don’t want you. To the contrary, converts in Judaism hold a special place in both the metaphorical heart of G-d and to the Jewish people.  Mostly because we chose Judaism, we chose to accept all 613 mitzvah’s, we chose to cast our lot in with a people who are, let’s be honest, persona non grata, in a large part of the world.  That takes chutzpah. It also takes time. On average (depending on the flavor of Judaism you’re converting into) it takes about a year and a half. A year of study, a year to go through all of the holidays, a year of being accepted by a community and deciding if you want to be part of a people. At the end you go to the Beit Din (a panel of three Rabbi’s who are going to ask a lot of questions about why you want to be Jewish), then to the mikvah for immersion in a tub that renders one ritually clean. Then it’s mazel tovs all around, welcome to the tribe and would you like a bagel?

It’s a beautiful and life changing process. And it’s not for everybody. But that’s ok. It’s ok, because we don’t believe non-Jews are going to burn in hell when they die, or that gentiles are horrible people or any other ridiculous arguments that are flouting around out there. In fact, there is a strongly held belief found in the Talmud that is just the opposite. All righteous people, of all faiths, have a place in the world to come. So that’s why. You’re a good person? Wonderful, save me a seat.

It’s that concept that removes a lot of the incentive that drives other faiths to actively seek converts. There is no Jewish Hell we need to save all gentiles from and vice versa there is no exclusive Jewish Heaven we need to convert you to so you can join.

You’re ok. I’m ok. Now if only everybody thought that way…imagine the world we would live in.